PROTOCOL FOR FORMULATING FEEDBACK TO CLIENTS
FINDING THE BOTTOM LINE
Is there a well-formed goal? What is it?
Are there exceptions? What are they?
If yes, are they deliberate or random?
What is the client's relationship to services? (visitor-, complainant-, or customer-type?)
THE FEEDBACK
Compliments
Bridging Statement
Task
COMMON MESSAGES
(END-OF-SESSION FEEDBACK)
VISITOR-TYPE RELATIONSHIP
Here's an example of a message to a client sent for services by his probation officer (from Berg and Miller, 1992, p. 99):
Curtis, we are very impressed that you are here today even though this is not your idea. You certainly had the option of taking the easy way out by not coming. . . . It has not been easy for you to be here today; having to give up your personal time, talking about things you really don't want to talk about, having to take the bus, and so on. . . .
I realize that you are an independent minded person who does not want to be told what to do and I agree with you that you should be left alone. But you also realize that doing what you are told will help you get these people out of your life and you will be left alone sooner. Therefore, I would like to meet with you again to figure out further what will be good for you to do. So let's meet next week at the same time.
COMPLAINANT-TYPE RELATIONSHIP
1.Client cannot identify exceptions and does not have a goal
Pay attention to what's happening in your life that tells you that this problem can be solved.
Or, since the client does not have well-formed goals, use the formula first-session task (de Shazer, 1985, p. 137):
Between now and next time we meet, we (I) would like you to observe, so that you can describe to us (me) next time, what happens in your (pick one: family, life, marriage, relationship) that you want to continue to have happen.
2.Client can identify exceptions
Between now and the next time we meet, pay attention to those times which are better, especially what is different about them and how they happen--that is, who does what to make them happen. Next time I'd like you to describe them to me in detail.
Or, a variation of the same observation task when the client says that the exceptions are due to someone else doing something different:
Alice, pay attention for those times when your boss is more reasonable and open. Besides paying attention to what’s different about those times, pay attention to what he might notice you doing that helps him to be more polite, reasonable, and open toward you. Keep track of those things and come back and tell me what’s better.
A final variation adds the element of prediction:
Alice I agree with you; there clearly seem to be days when your boss is more reasonable and open and days when he is not. So, between now and the next time that we meet, I suggest the following: Each night before you go to bed, predict whether or not tomorrow will be a day when he acts more reasonable and open and polite to you. Then, at the end of the day before you make your prediction for the next day, think about whether or not your prediction for that day came true. Account for any differences between your prediction and the way the day went and keep track of your observations so that you can come back and tell me about them. (de Shazer, 1988, pp. 179-183)
CUSTOMER-TYPE RELATIONSHIP
1.Client has a clear miracle picture but cannot identify exceptions
Between now and the next time we meet, pick one day and pretend the miracle. Go ahead and live that day as if the miracle has happened--just like you described it to me. Then come back next time and tell me what's better.
2.Client seems highly motivated but does not have well-formed goals and cannot identify exceptions
We are so impressed with how hard you have worked on _________ (the client's complaint) and with how clearly you can describe to us the things you have tried so far to make things better. We can see why you would be discouraged and frustrated right now. We also agree with you that this is a "very stubborn" (client's words) problem.
Because this is such a "stubborn" problem, we suggest that, between now and next time we meet, when ________ (the client's complaint) happens, that you do something different---no matter how strange or weird or off-the-wall what you do might seem. The only important thing is that whatever you decide to do, you need to do something different. (de Shazer, 1985, p. 123)
3.Client has well-formed goals and deliberate exceptions of his or her own doing
Ralph, I am impressed with you in several ways: First, how much you want to make things go better between you and your children. Second, that there are already several better times happening like (give examples). And third, that you can describe to me so clearly and in such detail what you do to do your part in making those times happen, things like (give examples). With all that you are doing, I can see why you say things are at a 5 already.
I agree that these are the things to do to have the kind of relationship with your children that you want to have. So, between now and when we meet again, I suggest that you continue to do what works. Also, pay attention to what else you might be doing--but haven’t noticed yet--that makes things better, and come back and tell me about them.
OTHER USEFUL MESSAGES
When a client complains of a compulsion
Pay attention for those times when you overcome the urge to (overeat, drink, hit your child, use pornography, get panicky, etc.). Pay attention for what's different about those times, especially what it is that you do to overcome the urge to ___________ . (de Shazer, 1985, p. 132)
When there are competing views of a solution. There are two possible situations here. In the first, individuals have different views, for example, if parents disagree about how to handle a child who
steals, you might say:
We are impressed by how much both of you want to help your son “not to steal.” The team is also impressed by what different ideas the two of you have about how to help your child through this difficult time. We can see that you were brought-up in different families and learned different ways to do things (the parents had said they could see their different family backgrounds at work in their conflicting views).
The team is split on which way to go--one-half feels like you ought to go with John’s ideas and the other half feels like Mary’s might work best. Therefore, we suggest that each morning, right after you get up, you flip a coin. Heads means that Mary is in charge and you do things her way with Billy while John stays in the background. Tails means John is in charge that day. And also--on those days when each of you is not busy being in charge--pay careful attention to what the other does with Billy that is useful or makes a difference so that you can report it to us when we meet again.
In the second, an individual is aware of more than one option and cannot decide which is best; for example, if a client is struggling with the decision whether to leave her boyfriend, Bill, you might say:
I am unsure about whether it would be best for you to “stay with Bill or leave him and begin a new life” (her words). I agree that this is a tough decision and figuring it out is going to take more hard work. As you continue to work on it, I suggest that each night before you go to bed, you flip a coin. If it comes up heads, live the next day as much as possible as though Bill is no longer a part of your life. Don't contact him and start to take the first steps toward the things you said you would do differently if you were on your own, such as spending more time with you friends and family and so forth. If it comes up tails, live the next day as though he is still a part of your life--all those things you described to me about what that means for you. Then, as you do these things, keep paying attention to what's happening that tells you that you are becoming more clear about whether to leave him or stay in the relationship. Remember, though, that usually a person cannot be 100% sure. And then come back and tell me what's better.
From: DeJong, P. & Berg, I. (2002) Interviewing for Solutions Learner’s Workbook, 2nd edition. Pacific
Grove, California: Brooks/Cole Publishers