Chapter Three:  Skills for Not Knowing

1)      Listening

Listening to the whole story.  Listening is the main focus of any interview.  Listening involves not talking.  Listening involves being present in the moment, not thinking about other things as you listen.  Frame of Reference. - looking at the situation as the client experiences it.   

2)      Formulating questions

 Questions that are respectful, that help the client see what they have done that works, that assume the client is competent.  Questions follow the client. 

3)      Getting Details

 Asking clients to provide further, more specific information - describe what's happening.   How does that impact you?  Who, what, where, when questions. 

4)      Echoing clients' key words

This lets the client know you are listening.  Lets the client know you are at the same level.   To make sure your understanding is the same as theirs.  Helps the client hear what they are saying and they may then be able to clarify more or be more specific. Helps you avoid assumptions.  

5)      Open questions

 Question that allows you to get more information. Allows the person to open up.  Client is the expert - an open question gives them the floor to open up.   You are letting the client know you are interested. You want to know how they perceive the situation.

6)      Summarizing

 Briefly covering everything that you discussed. Hitting the highlights. Helps the client hear what they are saying, know that you are listening, and it helps you remember what the client has said, and identify more areas to explore.

7)      Paraphrasing

 Taking the gist of something and saying it back in a different way. Giving the client a chance to see how you are understanding them.  Shows that you're listening.  Gives the client time and space to add what they may have forgotten.  Helps move the conversation in new directions.

8)      Nonverbal behaviors

 Facial expressions.  Tone of voice.  Posture.  Movements.  Rate of speech.  Hand gestures.  Environment - placement of chairs, etc.